Thursday, July 27, 2017

My Kid is getting married!!!

My oldest daughter is getting married!  I'm happy for her, not terribly surprised, but very happy.  Of the 4 kids, she looks the most like me, though on the surface she acts the least like me.   We are very different in day to day stuff, but actually quite a like in the stuff that counts.

She and her boyfriend gave marriage careful consideration and much discussion...Dan & I said, "hey let's get married" one day while we were at the mall in Springdale, Arkansas.  We did it a week or so later.  At the time it seemed to us to be the best solution to his parents cutting his college off for dating me. (they had never even met me, but his mom hated the IDEA of me)  As a married person he qualified for financial aid and so that's what we did.  We've been married for 30 years now.   And next month my first baby will be the first one of our children to get married.  I'm excited for her BECAUSE she's excited and happy.  That's what I want - for her to be happy.

There's not going to be a wedding.  Susi thinks they are a waste of money and I have to agree.  That's a lot of $$ to spend on a day that will never be as perfect as you wrote out the plan for.  People get so stressed that I see brides totally unable to enjoy their big day.  It shouldn't be that way.  For Susi & Justin it won't be.  They will have a party to celebrate.  Two parties actually.  One for the KC folks and one in Illinois for Justin's friends and family there.  The actual wedding ceremony will take place at a courthouse halfway between with the parents and maybe some siblings in attendance.

That's a smart move. I can't imagine trying to plan an actually wedding with this particular kid.  Even the wedding topper would be a pain. I looked through lots of images of them trying to find one for this post and it took forever.  So many show the bride as subservient or the groom as being trapped, shackled or caught.  They are partners and she would HATE all of those.  That's a small thing.  A bigger issue would come with his family being ultra conservative, religious, non drinkers who supported trump.  Us, not so much.  I'm spiritual in the neo pagan sense, Dan is Jewish, two of our other kids are atheist and one is agnostic.  We drink on occasion, though none do it regularly. My hair is blue, green and purple, so it's obvious that I'm not exactly conservative and we all voted for Hillary.  Dan & I are fairly active in progressive politics and attend quite a few protests.  All of that just sounds like a headache when it comes to planning a reception.  I envision it being like a middle school dance with the boys on one side and the girls on the other.

But none of that will be an issue.  There will be parties celebrating their union instead of a years worth of wedding planning to stress over.  I hope that overall, they stay as happy as they are during those celebrations.  There will be ups and downs, hugs and arguments, but it's the average of all those days that counts.  I want their average to be on the positive side.

When my baby was my baby

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