Creating My Life

Life isn't about finding yourself, Life is about creating yourself. - George Bernard Shaw 

That's one of my two favorite quotes. I love Shaw - he was something else. That's how I want to be remembered - as someone who was a character - someone who created her life instead of just getting through. 

For a lot of years it really wasn't that way. I let life control me and that's part of how I ended up so overweight. The journey back to who I want to be has been interesting so far. I've learned a lot about myself and quite a bit about other people too actually. 

Some people are super supportive and want me to succeed, grow and prosper. Lots of those people are here on online and I may  never meet them, but they take a second to send me happy thoughts. It makes me feel great when so many people take time out of their lives to wish me well. Thank you all. 

Sadly, not all people are supportive. There haven't been many, but a couple of people in my life simply can not handle the change. I've severed ties with one and may have to with another. I do wish them well, but my life does not have a place for people who are going to drag me down. 

Part of creating my life is making choices. I always made choices, but sometimes I would choose to do nothing and let life flow by or let other people decide for me. Not any more I am in charge now and every day I get to make the choices that determine how my day will go. Even when everything around me is horrid and I wish for nothing more than to go and hide - even then I have a choice. I can choose to hide and let it get the best of me or I can choose to deal with it and become a stronger person. 

Creating my life also includes planning. How does that old adage go "failing to plan is planning to fail" I hated it when my dad used to spout it off, but turns out he was right. Now I'm working on learning to plan because that's how I will succeed. 

Another important thing that comes with creating my life is letting myself have it. I am worth it and I deserve it. It's ok to be a little selfish and go to the gym even when there is stuff to do. I deserve that hour a day and taking it is a good thing.

So I've quit trying to find my life and have set off to create it.

Breathing and bad dreams

My congestion is causing me bad dreams.  When it settles in my throat it causes funny sounds on my exhale.  I guess it's because some of the air gets trapped for a moment and then leaks out after the main exhale.  Clearing my throat or drinking something warm fixes the problem.  Can't do that when I'm asleep though.  What happens is that I hear the noises - which sounds like ghosts or an unhappy puppy.  Then my brain puts the sound into my dream.  I've had some very weird dreams over the past couple of days.

At first I thought it was related to my asthma, but I am actually not having a hard time getting air in and nothing feels constricted.  Just mucus in my throat.  Icky, but something easily dealt with.

The weather is supposed to be nice next week.  Keeping my fingers crossed that all of this ick has passed so I can go out for a - probably very very slow - 5k.  I'm sure I'll at least be able to walk it even if I'm not well enough to run it yet.

Puzzle

I'm addicted to the jigsaw puzzles.  Use the arrow in the corner for a bigger board if you need.  I know I do when it's a 100 pieces like this one

How about some Motivation?

I am moving some of my more interesting posts on fitness from my old blog to this one.  This was from about 2 years ago.

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So how about some motivation

I see motivational quotes, pictures and thoughts everywhere.  I have my own vision board with things that I want to achieve, but I don't know that any of it really hit home like a picture I saw in Fitness Magazine.  Normally I avoid those mags because they seem to be mostly ads and that just doesn't interest me.  Picked this one up on a whim and as I flipped through it I saw a picture very similar to this one.

both are human legs, the first is someone who works out, the second is a couch potato.  The one in the magazine was even more dramatic, but this one gets my point across.  See how the second one looks all marbled like a steak at the butcher counter?  Both legs are similar on the outside, so the people were probably the same sizeish.  But one is much much much stronger and healthier.  

A few years ago I noticed that my strength just collapsed.  I didn't really go up in weight but I was no longer the strong powerhouse I had normally been.  No more hiking.  No more long walks.  Just going up the stairs winded me.  I'm sure the fat had finally taken over my muscles and I was becoming a week marbled couch potato.  

I finally got moving and I can feel that my legs are about a billion times stronger than they were before I started.  I still have way too much fat, but under that is starting to be some serious muscle.  Just have to keep working until it shows.

My new inspirational photo is this one

I want to be 74 with muscles, not squishy with a tiny muscle center.