Saturday, March 21, 2015

Being Obese

Obesity isn't just a chart.

Being obese means you don't fit.  Not into clothes.  Not on rides at the park.  Not into booths at the restaurant.  Not between cars or through turnstiles.  Being obese means you don't fit into a normal life.

Being obese means you are always looking at judging to see if you are too wide or too heavy.  It's dreading the humiliation that comes from being too large or even worse, breaking something.

Being obese is being looked at.  Feeling the eyes of people staring.  It's hearing them joke about you.  It's accepting that the entire world feels free to judge you and everything you do.  It's being afraid of your children being ashamed of you for your size.  It's the sadness of knowing that sometimes they are.

Being obese is never feeling 100% clean.  It's not fitting into tubs and not being able to reach your entire body without assistance.  It's sweating in all the nooks and crannies.  It's using baby powder to keep the skin under your fat rolls from becoming irritated or infected.

Being obese is never seeing yourself.  It's the ability to look into a mirror and see nothing below the neck.  It's hiding from cameras and dreading photos.  It's being convinced that those parts of you that you won't look at are all anyone else can see.

Being obese is seeing people your size and judging them for the faults you find in yourself.  It's looking at the models and actresses in weight loss commercials and being angry at them because you know they've never actually been fat. It's wishing and praying that those diets and gimmicks work the way the ads say they will.  It's secretly believing that maybe they will for you.

Being obese is lying.  It's claiming to have eaten 5 cookie when you ate 7 or 9.  It's hiding food.  It's promising yourself you will start a fitness routine tomorrow - when you know tomorrow is not likely to come.  It's telling your kids you'll be at an event, but backing out.

Being obese is suicide  It's killing yourself one bite at a time.  It's feeling helpless and hopeless.

Being obese is a choice.  There are a millions reasons behind that choice, but there are more to change.

Overcoming obesity is dealing with the issues instead of sedating yourself with food.

Overcoming obesity is hard.  It's changing almost everything about your life.  It's not eating when you are hungry.  It's working out when you are tired.  It's not instant.  It takes months or even years.

Overcoming obesity is accepting that sometimes you will fail for a day or a week or a month. It's having a long term goal, but focussing on this day, or hour or even the next 30 seconds.  It's starting over sometimes it's frequently starting over.

Overcoming obesity is accepting all victories no matter how little and celebrating them.  It's being able to walk a flight of stairs without getting winded.  It's walking a mile, even if it takes an hour.  It's reaching for some fruit instead of ice cream.

Overcoming obesity means accepting that you can do it as readily as you once accepted that you can't.

Overcoming obesity is a choice, and not an easy one.

Overcoming obesity is worth it.

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